An odd day....

.... and largely unsatisfactory, but then things change...

I did ceremony number 9 today, and for this one I hadn't been able to do a family visit, as the family are all over the country.

I got very little information about the deceased; I felt I hadn't got a handle on her at all, so this ceremony lasted about 15 minutes.

I know, I know, but honestly, I put in 2 poems (at least three verses each) and 4 readings, what else could I do that wasn't just padding?

So this felt very unsatisfactory.

Then I thought I'd go out selling myself again. I went to a small town nearby, but couldn't find the Funeral Directors. Never mind, I thought, I'll do that another time - there were a couple of village FDs I was looking for, so despite the fact that the weather was disgusting, I thought I'd keep on.

I couldn't find the second one, either. This village has only got one street, but I'll be buggered if I could find the place. That's the problem with house names instead of numbers, I guess.

When I got to the next village I wanted, I realised that I had my mobile and a list of phone numbers with me. I could have rung them!!!!!

Never mind, I found the third and left my leaflets with a very nice lady.

On my way back home (feeling mightily jaded by this time), it occurred to me that there's another small town about 6 miles from where I live that I hadn't been a-touting in, so I stopped off.

I had a long conversation with another very nice lady, who doesn't arrange funerals herself, but was interested in what I do, and agreed to hand out my leaflets if appropriate.

I then went to the other FD in the town, and realising that they were part of the co-op, I could reassure him that I had done work for one of the other local offices, so he seemed almost receptive.

Then when I got home, there was a message on the answerphone - I've got my first live one.

There is a lady at the local hospice who has been given a few weeks to live, and wants a humanist ceremony. I'm currently waiting for a call back from her husband, who wants reassuring that there will be no tree-hugging or talking to fairies, and I will go and meet the lady and her husband (probably at the hospice) to discuss their funeral.

It's my first "living funeral", and my biggest fear is that memories of my Mum will come crashing in, and I'll fall apart - I'm crying now as I write this.

But I've come to a conclusion - crying while typing is fine. As long as I don't dissolve either at the family visit or during the ceremony - that would be "a bad thing".

More details to follow, when there are some to tell.