A dilemma and a surprising comment.

Today I will be conducting three ceremonies (yes, I know).

In all three, I will be reading the same poem.

And this leaves me (as does everything) with many questions.

Am I getting lazy in my poetry suggestions (in all cases, the poem was read when I visited the family so that they could feel that it was right for them), or is it just a really good poem for funerals? Or both.

This is the poem in question:

As We Look Back

As we look back over time
We find ourselves wondering
Did we remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for us?
For all the times you were by our sides
To help and support us
To celebrate our successes
To understand our problems
And accept our defeats?
Or for teaching us by your example,
The value of hard work, good judgement,
Courage and integrity?
We wonder if we ever thanked you
For the sacrifices you made.
To let us have the very best?
And for the simple things
Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?
If we have forgotten to show our
Gratitude enough for all the things you did,
We're thanking you now.
And we are hoping you knew all along,
How much you meant to us.

CLARE JONES

See what I mean? For many people (and I'm conducting the ceremonies of much loved parents) it really hits the spot.

Using a poem this many times has its advantages - I practically know it by heart, so my eye contact is better when reciting it, I can play around with emphasis to get a little more out of it, that kind of thing.

But everything has a down side. What if I start saying it as though I'm reading it for the third time that day?

So I started to wonder if I should stop suggesting it to people (at the meeting, if they would like some poetry but don't know where to start, I normally read two or three to get a feel for what they might like). But given how much it resonates with so many folks, who am I to not suggest it?

As ever, I'm sure that I'll extract my head from my own behind and just do my best. If the families want this poem, then that's what they shall have.




On a completely unrelated matter, I met a family recently and they decided afterwards that I was not the right person for them. Concerned that I had done something to offend or upset them, I asked the celebrant who is now taking the ceremony to let me know anything that they found out. It turns out that because I suggested we have a time in the ceremony for quiet reflection or private prayer (even if the nearest and dearest are staunch atheists, their friends may not be), I was considered to be "a bit too religious"!

Sometimes, I can't find the words - because I'm trying too hard to suppress the laughter.

Peace and love to all.