A new twist on an old problem

Ah, the thorny issue of recruitment. It's been talked about before, but this is a problem I didn't expect to have. It's not about letting everyone have a fair crack at the work, it's not about "keep off my manor", it's about something a little more delicate - suitability.

What makes a good funeral celebrant? There are some obvious skills needed; writing, speaking in public, time keeping, organisation. Most of these are about the ceremony itself. What about meeting the family? How many celebrants have come away from a family visit hearing "thank you, I was dreading this, but I really enjoyed talking about her". Again, there are skills involved; listening, questioning, picking up on the body language etc. But to me, the most important thing that a funeral celebrant should have isn't a skill, it's a trait, and that is warmth. I'm not talking about gushing sentimentality, but just good old fashioned warmth and part of the problem is that it's not quantifiable.

Someone (for convenience, we'll call him "Michael") is a local celebrant for other ceremonies. With everything other than funerals, people choose their celebrant, they meet us and decide which one suits them best. (This could happen for funerals but usually doesn't. A subject for another day, perhaps?)

I don't have a problem with Michael on a personal level; we've got along fine in the past, but he lacks the warmth needed for funerals.

Michael asked me to support his application to become a funeral celebrant. I said that I was unable to do this. Interestingly, he has never asked me why (I was happy to have this conversation, but wanted him to ask - the fact that he didn't rather backed up my view). This means that either my opinion doesn't matter to him (except for furthering his own wishes), or he is making an assumption, probably based on protecting my workload. This is absolutely not the case. I am running at capacity and often pass work on to colleagues.

Other local celebrants have also been unable to support Michael's application but, if the jungle drums are correct, celebrants from elsewhere in the country have said yes, and his training is due to begin.

I really hope that I'm wrong about Michael. Because if he passes his training (and he is technically competent, so no reason why not), then someone, somewhere will give him work and there will be families who have him sitting in their front room, drinking their tea, and asking about their dearly departed.

Please let me be wrong, because nobody should ever have a bad funeral.

So where does this leave me? I am supposed to support colleagues, help with promotion and, when I am unable to take a ceremony, suggest them in my place. And that is not something that, in all conscience, I could do.

It's a dilemma and one that I'm working through but, at the moment, if the jungle drums are correct, then I'm really not sure what do to.


Love and peace to all. x