Well,
I've got through what felt like a mammouth week. I think they all went well - I've had a couple of emails of thanks, so looking good.
In conclusion.
Tuesday - much winking.
Wednesday - nearly converted a Jewish man to humanism. Seriously, it all went really well - for the first time I felt absolutely in control, and able to do the job.
Thursday - didn't sing the hymn, and not many people seemed to know where the burial ground was - but that was one of my emails of thanks, so it must have been okay.
Friday - simple, understated - I think it was a success.
Actually, Friday's had the best moment of the week. After the committal, I usually say a few words to remind people that they don't have to forget their loved one, and when I said "use the phrases that he would use", the two sons of the deceased caught each others' eye and started laughing. I would love to know what phrase was going through their minds, as one of their cousins started to smile as well. I will never know the answer, but it was a lovely moment, and one of those that makes it a bit special.
I've nothing booked now, and have had to turn a couple down, 'cos I'm off on my hols soon, but I hope to be up and running again next month.
Monday, 9 June 2008
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
A good one and winking.
Today was a good ceremony.
How do you judge these things? By the comments you get afterwards? By the number of people who come to shake your hand? By your own gut feel? The comments from the funeral director? Whatever it was, today went well.
The main person I have to thank for that is the wife of the deceased. She had written a piece from her late husband's point of view, which, I'll be honest, I was worried about. Because I'd never met the man, I didn't know if I would give it the right voice, but, bless her, it worked. Folks were laughing through their tears, and it set the right tone for the whole ceremony.
On the way out, she thanked me, and praised the ceremony, as did the deceased's mother (he was a young man, sadly), and various assorted relatives. I got a kiss from the wife's Mum.
There was a man of the cloth in the crowd. That phased me a little to start with, but in the end I just had to do my best. I know that I tripped over a few words and said a poem wrong (didn't carry over a line properly), and I was conscious of his presence then, but the rest of the time, I just made sure I didn't cry, and tried to do a good job.
On the way out, he hesitated before coming to shake my hand. I hope I didn't smile too much at his reticence.
On a completely different tack, I've noticed that I do a lot of winking. I'm sure I winked about four times during today's ceremony, as I spoke to/about different members of the family. It's a bad habit, and I must break it.
Feeling good - and happy about tomorrow's ceremony too - nice people, I hope it will go well. Just got to get Thursday behind me, and deal with control freak woman on Friday (more to follow), and it will have been a successful week.
How do you judge these things? By the comments you get afterwards? By the number of people who come to shake your hand? By your own gut feel? The comments from the funeral director? Whatever it was, today went well.
The main person I have to thank for that is the wife of the deceased. She had written a piece from her late husband's point of view, which, I'll be honest, I was worried about. Because I'd never met the man, I didn't know if I would give it the right voice, but, bless her, it worked. Folks were laughing through their tears, and it set the right tone for the whole ceremony.
On the way out, she thanked me, and praised the ceremony, as did the deceased's mother (he was a young man, sadly), and various assorted relatives. I got a kiss from the wife's Mum.
There was a man of the cloth in the crowd. That phased me a little to start with, but in the end I just had to do my best. I know that I tripped over a few words and said a poem wrong (didn't carry over a line properly), and I was conscious of his presence then, but the rest of the time, I just made sure I didn't cry, and tried to do a good job.
On the way out, he hesitated before coming to shake my hand. I hope I didn't smile too much at his reticence.
On a completely different tack, I've noticed that I do a lot of winking. I'm sure I winked about four times during today's ceremony, as I spoke to/about different members of the family. It's a bad habit, and I must break it.
Feeling good - and happy about tomorrow's ceremony too - nice people, I hope it will go well. Just got to get Thursday behind me, and deal with control freak woman on Friday (more to follow), and it will have been a successful week.
Sunday, 1 June 2008
How Rude!
I know that people are sad and at their most vulnerable, but I'll be honest, I'm getting mightily pee'd off with one of my deceased's family members.
I try to be flexible (I've allowed a hymn, for f's sake), but now I'm being told to re-order my service.
And I do mean told.
The email that came back was a definite "I want....." I was tempted to go back with a favourite phrase of my grandmother's - I want doesn't get - but felt that it may not be appropriate!
To be honest, the re-order isn't a problem, I just didn't like the attitude. Again, I repeat, I know that people are not themselves, which is why I don't react, but I am human too, and wouldn't mind just a bit more respect for the job I'm trying to do here.
Still, stop moaning, after the ceremony, I need never see that person again (I've a feeling that he wouldn't recommend me, as I don't think he likes my style).
I try to be flexible (I've allowed a hymn, for f's sake), but now I'm being told to re-order my service.
And I do mean told.
The email that came back was a definite "I want....." I was tempted to go back with a favourite phrase of my grandmother's - I want doesn't get - but felt that it may not be appropriate!
To be honest, the re-order isn't a problem, I just didn't like the attitude. Again, I repeat, I know that people are not themselves, which is why I don't react, but I am human too, and wouldn't mind just a bit more respect for the job I'm trying to do here.
Still, stop moaning, after the ceremony, I need never see that person again (I've a feeling that he wouldn't recommend me, as I don't think he likes my style).
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