I used to work with a lady, whom we’ll call Margaret, who has recently died. Back when I started this game, she had already been unwell but, at that stage, was going through a good patch. She and I were discussing my change of path, and she said to me “well, the thing is, I believe in god”, which was fine with me.
A few months ago, she came along to the ceremony I conducted for another lady we used to work with (I think our office may have “sick building syndrome” – I’m certainly sick of going there), which Margaret thorough enjoyed, and apparently told everyone about.
Sadly, Margaret has now shuffled off this mortal coil, which is terribly sad; she’s only in her 50s. Her children (who we’ll call Jenny and Jemima) want me to do the service. So far so good, BUT, because of her religious faith, it’s happening in a local church.
That’s fine, I thought, I’ll just stand up in my usual “gob on a stick” fashion and delivery a eulogy. However, Jemima wants me to pretty much run the ceremony, with the vicar just adding a few prayers. I was okay with this, but didn't know if the vicar would be. Of course, he has concerns.
I have tried to reassure him that I’m not going to talk about anything but Margaret; that I’m not there to talk about humanism, or to be controversial, but he wants to make sure that any service in his church has the right tone, and delivers the Christian message. I completely understand his point of view, it’s the same reason that I don’t deliver prayers in my ceremonies.
That’s the latest so far – he’s yet to meet Jemima and Jenny, so I just gave them a quick call saying that I may not be able to run as much of it as they wanted. However, the things that they wanted to happen (songs to be played etc) can still be done with the Revd introducing them, rather than me. Jemima seemed a bit disappointed, but I’m hoping that once she and Jenny have spoken to the vicar, all will be well.
There was a slight comedy moment, which I rose above, while talking to the vicar. He was saying that he wanted to get across the Christian message “which is a powerful message, whatever your issues with it”. I didn’t bite. I don’t have issues with his faith; I simply don’t share it.
The Revd seems to be a perfectly nice and reasonable man, so I’m sure that it will all be sorted out to everyone’s satisfaction. On a purely personal level, I just hope I get through whatever I do without breaking down. It’s going to be a tough day.
Updates to follow when I have them.
On a completely separate note, I think I must have lived a very sheltered life.
I visited the family recently of a man who had died. I was talking to his wife about him and she said "He was a good husband - he never laid a finger on me." Is that really the only criterion?
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1 comment:
This sounds like merry muddlement. If the vicar's havering it's because he hasn't the confidence to say, "Look here, love, this is my gaff, we do things my way here. On yer bike." I can't see you having the same sort of compromise-seeking chat with an imam. Materialists and supernaturalists don't shade into each other I'd have thought.
So: good luck!
As to the woman whose husband had never hit her, well, perhaps I've also led a very sheltered life. I, too, have never thrashed, drubbed or belaboured my wife. Makes me feel a bit self-marginalised.
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