We have ways of making you talk....

Other people's perceptions of us are always odd, aren't they?

If you were to ask me the sort of ceremonies that I thought FDs would select me for, I would say the ones where the deceased was a "loveable rogue" and there was a lot of laughter at the arrangement visit. I can often find the humour in things, have a pathological need to lighten the mood and can deliver a story with acceptable comic timing, so these seem the most natural fit.

Imagine my surprise the other day, therefore, when I had a call from an arranger. The gent who had died had been the reclusive sort. He'd never married or had children. Didn't travel, did the same job for many decades; he'd worked hard but without ambition. He had great no passions or hobbies, had lived quietly, on the fringes of his family and, for the last few years, had suffered from dementia. But, of course, the family wanted to pay tribute to him; his life had been long and they felt that he deserved a good send off.

So I was called because, it seems, I'm "good at finding out stuff". Now, Mr X.Piry interpreted this phrase as "nosey" and agreed heartily (harsh but fair), but I was surprised. Yes, I do ask lots of questions, and my favourite one is "why" ("so why did they move there, then?", "why did he particularly like non-fiction", "why did he mean so much to you?") but I had a vision for a moment of me, sitting with the family, shining a light in their eyes and forcing them to tell me the name of their uncle's pet dog!

As it turns out, we had a nice friendly chat, I found out a bit about the man (general interests, how he interacted with the family etc) and agreed with the good folks that it probably wouldn't be a terribly long ceremony (I think we were 20 mins in total). They were happy with this and, after the ceremony, were complimentary, saying that line which always means a lot - "He would have loved that".

Of course, each funeral is individual, but this one was relatively safe, calm and nothing out of the ordinary happened. But it has got me wondering about how I'm viewed and, more to the point, is this a good thing? Does it mean that there's more than one string to my bow? Or am I simply the smiling interrogator?