Why I'm glad to be a celebrant, not a funeral director.

There are many reasons why being a celebrant suits me better than being a funeral director.

I'm not the one called out at three o'clock on a winter's morning to do a (horribly named) "removal".

I'm not the one who has to prepare the body of someone's Dad/Mum/Husband

I'm not the one who has to sit down with the bereaved and talk about the cost of the funeral.

But mainly, it's about time management.

Other celebrants may look at this and laugh. What are you talking about, XP? Our time is not our own. We're either available for the ceremony or we don't work.

Yes, that's true, but I'm talking about after the ceremony - the recovery time.

Recently, I conducted a ceremony for a disabled child. It's not the first time I've had that privilege and they are often incredibly positive experiences. The family has learnt so much from the child, about themselves, about their priorities in life, about dealing with difficult situations and about the kindness of others. This all becomes part of the legacy and is extremely powerful.

But they are also deeply emotional ceremonies. At the bottom of it all is the death of a child and no matter how unwell or disabled that child has been, it still just feels wrong on every level.

From a celebrant's point of view, the visit can be particularly delicate. Trying to assertain how much the little boy or girl could do (especially in terms of communication) can feel like treading on eggshells. Convincing the family (who may also be used to negative responses to their child) that you're there to celebrate all of the positive things can take a lot of time and energy.

And on the day itself, there are often families there with other disabled children, half-listening to what you say, while silently thanking whoever they are grateful to that it isn't their little girl or boy on the catafalque.

These tend to be the ceremonies where you feel that you're carrying more people than usual. This is nobody's fault and nobody's problem - after all, that's one of the things that you're there for. But it can be extremely exhausting.

So this is why I'm glad that I'm not a funeral director. After this (or any other ceremony), I can go home, walk the dog, watch a bit of rubbish TV, drink tea and eat chocolate. Yes, it may mean that I'm doing my visits in the evenings, because I'm leaving the afternoons free for "down time" but that's my choice and I have the flexibility to do that.

Whereas the poor FD, who has also had so much of the emotion to deal (including looking after physical body, as well as the family) has to go back to the office and meet the next family, sort out the paperwork, or even be out again on the next funeral, before the chance of their cuppa and a choccie digestive.

So (top) hats off to the FDs. They deserve it.