I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair......

A couple of months ago, I blogged about a problem with a new candidate.
http://dontgettooclosetothefurnace.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/a-new-twist-on-old-problem.html

A few days later, things took a turn. "Michael" put in an official complaint about me. (I thought he'd read this, identified himself and that I'd been rumbled, but I soon found out that this wasn't the case).

He felt that because I had not given the reasons for failing to endorse his application (because I wanted him to speak to me) then I had not worked in a supportive fashion and had therefore breached the code of conduct of my particular "firm".

I won't put here my initial reaction but it involved reference to a game a soldiers after an expletive detailing men's reproductive organs. I was annoyed, of course, but it did rather prove my concerns about suitability.

The complaint was answered and not upheld (XP - 1, Michael - 0). But this left me with a problem - how the hell do I work with someone who would put in a complaint before speaking to me. And, rather more crucially, how on earth would I say to a funeral director "this is my colleague, Michael, please feel free to call him if I'm not available."

There have been meetings, discussions, efforts made etc but, ultimately these problems are insurmountable. Assuming that Michael starts practicing as a funeral celebrant, (or even if he doesn't, he still does weddings etc), I am stuck with a colleague who would take up time and effort complaining when I didn't put his name forward. And, to be fair, later complaints would be justified; I couldn't recommend him, so would be a naughty girl and breach the code.

In the end, there seemed only one way out and that is to leave the firm. I am now an independent celebrant.

I have joined another firm (low key, done to sort out the public liability insurance as much as anything) but essentially I'm out there on my own. It's scary but feedback so far has been positive. More than one FD has said "it's you we book, XP, not your accreditation."

We'll have to see how this pans out. I think that I've probably kissed goodbye to weddings and namings, as most of those enquiries came from the firm's central website, but at heart I'm a funeral celebrant. The other ceremonies are fun, but they are not the core of what I do.

I feel really sad that this has happened and also quite cross. The whole situation has taken a lot of time and effort and absolutely none of it has led me to have a better family meeting, write a better funeral or deliver a better ceremony.

Many years ago I used to have to put up with office politics, cliques, departmental squabbles and people throwing their toys out of the pram. It was irritating, but I also got paid holiday, paid sick leave, tea and coffee on tap, a Christmas party.....

As a self-employed celebrant (whatever the affiliation) there's really no need to put up with that kind of b.. (nearly mentioned those men's bits again!).

Rant over. Love and peace to all.