Well, who would you recommend.....?

Just recently, I've been dealing with a couple of families who are very organised - sorting out the funeral arrangements before their parent has died. This is a whole other ball game which, no doubt, will be dealt with in a later post.

It inevitably leads to the family asking the question "which FD should we use?"

This puts me in a bit of a difficult situation; in theory, all of the local FDs are my customers (to a greater or lesser degree) and so choosing one suggests that the others aren't as good. And yes, this is probably true, but I worry that if I recommend one, then the 30 that I haven't recommended will find out and stop using me. Celebrant paranoia rules, ok.

Of course, I can recommend that the family goes to an external source, such as the magnificent Good Funeral Guide and find a good 'un there.

Luckily, in this case, another family member said "Oh, you must go to "Diggum & Depe", they were wonderful when my father died." That was me off the hook.

This particular FD is part of one of the large groups and although that doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad, I do have reservations. For example, the local crem uses the Wesley Music System. After I've visited the family, I like to visit the FD, or at least call them to give them the music choices and an update on the visit. These particular chaps have said in the past "don't worry about ringing us, just email the details through". Maybe they trust me to let them know of any concerns. Maybe.

So, the funeral took place and a member of the congregation was taken ill. The FD wasn't in the chapel (I am aware of popular opinion on this), but I guessed that I would find him in the waiting room. I let him and the other chaps there know that this situation had occurred. They dealt with everything they could, got a first aider, called an ambulance, to my knowledge the person was simply a little overheated and has made a full recovery.

Chatting afterwards, the FD said "You're lucky I was in the waiting room!".

What I wanted to say was "Well, you should be in the chapel, just in case of something like this." But I have a commercial side to my brain, which sometimes prevents the tongue from working. So I said nothing. Any ideas for a suitable retort for that one?

Needless to say, when asked in future "which FD should I use?", "Diggum & Depe" won't be the first name I mention.

The small things that amuse

It would be comforting to think that everyone has a redeeming feature; some little spot which prevents them from being totally unpleasant. And often, that little spot is a love of animals.

A short while ago, I was conducting the ceremony for a man who had been....difficult. From reading between the lines, he was fairly selfish, inconsiderate, you get the picture. However, he really loved his dogs. He had owned several, supported a number of canine charities and, basically, preferred them to people (a sometimes understandable position).

And so I was asked by his family to focus on this side of his personality. We had poems about dogs, readings about dogs, stories about his dogs. Basically, it was more doggie than Crufts.

All went okay; the family were pleased and there was a nice display of smiles and handshaking afterwards. On my way back to the vestry, to pick up my things, I noticed a collection box for the next ceremony - for the Cats Protection League.

I like to think that there was a bit of a "Cats and Dogs" punch up in the car park.


Aah.... it's the little things.