I realise that I usually complain a lot on this blog.
However, I have the story of an absolutely cracking funeral. And I'm not being immodest. One of the reasons that it was so great was that I had very little to do with it!
The deceased was a singer who had reached a good age. His son is the most organised man on the planet. He arranged the whole thing, we had running orders, he'd lined up the contributors, and, following our discussions, we'd even allowed some contingencies if the contributors ran over time. We had a double time slot, and he had been to the venue at least twice to check out the location, the sound system and anything else he wanted to know (even how long the curtains take to close...). This was a great case of the family taking as much control of the funeral as they wanted. The FD and I simply stood by and acted on our instructions.
This man (the son) has a great energy and dynamism about him, and so although the control freak in me usually resists being told what to do, I just didn't mind in this case.
And it worked beautifully. The music sounded great. We didn't get to have the "open mic" slot we'd hoped for when folks could stand up and say what they wanted, because of time constraints, but that was our contingency. They were all off to a great celebration afterwards, so no doubt many stories were being shared there.
Never have I had so much praise for doing so little. Yes, I still gave a lot of time and consideration to the bits that I was saying (finding the right quotes, etc), but in comparison with many ceremonies, I didn't have to do as much. The tributes were all coming from the family and friends who knew the gent, I was just audience and button presser.
So many people afterwards said "That's what I want...." which is very gratifying (although they will need to get the gent's son involved, as he was the one who did it all). I was just the MC, the Assistant Stage Manager, the gob on a stick.
It was an honour and a privilege to do.
Apologies
I would like to apologise to Rupert who, accurately, chastised me for not responding to his comments. I have now responded to his direct question by email and I would like to apologise for my rudeness.
I don't always reply to comments on the blog - although it's my blog, I don't want it ever to be a place where folks may want to comment (particularly if they disagree with me) and feel that they can't because I'm going to come back arguing.
However, I am very grateful to all who read it and who take the time to comment - it is appreciated, even if I don't make that plain.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Great stuff, XP. I think there's a lot to be said for measuring a celebrant according to their powers of empowerment rather than their performing skills. Celebrant as iceberg, if you like.
Interesting point of etiquette raised by Rupert. I deliberately write incomplete blog posts which allow people plenty of scope for comment and debate. And, like you, I have always felt that I've had my say -- and I have never warmed to those bloggers who challenge or top everything anyone else says. There's a delicate balance to be struck here, I guess. I feel chastised by proxy, somewhat. I am now going to go into a brood.
Rupert's lovely. I am sure he will forgive you!!
Why should you not grumble on your blog? Seems to me there's quite a lot to grumble about in the post-death industry!
Good to read of such a heartening experience, and of course someone with your approach is never just a gob on a stick.
When a funeral ceremony genuinely feels as though it's theirs, and you just helped them realise it, is the best feeling. Recently, I had a ceremony with two really good but very different tributes from the family, simple but lovely flowers associated with the area the dead person came from, and the flowers were distributed to everyone during the reflection time, so we all left with a small bunch or posy each. Simple, but a lovely relief after all those sculptural "DAD" floral arrangements. I'm not scoffing at that just because it's not my taste, but I think you'll know what I mean. And the cost, or rather, the lack of value for money since they are only seen for a few minutes. Still, if that's what they want...which is another big subject.
By the way - we mustn't let Charles fall into a brood about blog ettiquette, he's got more important things to do, like keep us stimulated and informed! As you do, X Piry.
My posts tend to be long and musing, probably come across as a bit dry, (no pics, few sparks or brilliant puns) but they help me, and might be of use to others, I hope.
I seem to have gone on somewhat. Is that bad blogmanners? Hope not.
Oh dear. What have I started? Apology accepted, as hopefully mine was for my petulant outburst..
Post a Comment