Compromising myself

Bollocks!

That was the main word going through my head as I drove back from a family visit earlier this week.

I have compromised myself, because I have allowed a hymn to be included in one of my ceremonies. Okay, so the world isn't going to end, but I didn't even put up a fight.

To be honest, I was in a state of shock when I agreed to it, as I'd just found out that the deceased, a little old lady, hadn't died of "old age" or "natural causes" but had decided to take her own life.

For a moment, everything seemed to unimportant, I think I would have agreed to a sermon by the Archbishop of Canterbury!

I'm glad that I hadn't known about the cause of death when I went to the visit, or I would have been a nervous wreck by the time I got there, but I did feel a bit pole-axed when the family told me.

The sad thing is, if it had been the funeral of a 17 year old lad, suicide would have been more tragic, but less surprising. What does that say about our society, I wonder?

However, I have made the decision (well, the mistake) and the hymn will be sung, so all I can do is distance myself from it, explain that it wouldn't normally be included in a humanist ceremony, let them sing to their heart's content and learn from the experience.

I know I shouldn't beat myself up, it was only my fourth family visit, for goodness' sake, but beating myself up is a speciality (and not in a good way....)