So there I was, thinking that I was going to have to re-write my Grandfather's funeral script for my homework exercise, and it's all gone mad!
Thursday was my second gatecrash, and my first ever burial. It went really well, and lots of people complemented my mentor on the service.
Then on Friday (yesterday) I had my first family visit. I thought that SWMBO had already told them I was coming, but she'd not had the chance, so I did feel that I was "doorstepping" them a bit, but they were terribly nice about it, and made tea and everything.
At the moment the good folks are shocked, fairly angry, and still looking for some answers from the health care professionals, so it wasn't a particularly teary visit, which from a purely selfish point of view was probably a good thing for my first one.
I can understand the frustration of wanting to know answers, but one of the family members said "we just want to know that we did everything that we could." I nodded politely, but wondered about this. In the unlikely event that somebody told them that they could have done more, how will that leave them feeling? Death leaves unanswered questions, and I'm not going to pretend I'm all zen about it, and happy to accept, but the danger with asking questions is in finding the answers. Can you cope with them being what you don't want to hear? Sometimes ignorance is bliss after all.
But anyhoo, I wrote pages of notes, and have spent this afternoon typing my script. It's too long (by at least 500 words), but I'm going to leave it overnight and then edit it down tomorrow, as well as read it aloud to myself (I've already warned DH that this could happen, so that he doesn't think I've gone completely mad) to check the timing.
While I was putting this together this avo, SWMBO rang to say that there was another family meeting on Monday, about 20 miles away from where I live, so for the third day running I'm going to have to leave work early. I'll explain it all to my boss on Monday morning, and I'm sure she'll be okay with it, but my absences are becoming a bit obvious.
Actually, Monday might become interesting for another reason. Friday's are mufti days at our office, and so I wore my jeans to work, but then nipped into the ladies as I left, and changed into a skirt etc. On my way out, one of my colleagues was coming back from lunch. I saw her look my up and down, and I feel that she's a person who likes to know what's going on, and is not averse to being indiscreet in her curiosity. I wonder how many people will think I was going for an interview!
This is the problem with having to keep my flexible hours a bit discreet, otherwise I'd just tell everybody, and that would be it. Still, we'll see what the next few weeks brings!
Saturday, 26 January 2008
Saturday, 19 January 2008
My first gatecrash
I went to the first funeral with my mentor yesterday.
It was a good service - I was very impressed with my mentor's range of quotes and sayings. She's posh anyway, but has clearly benefited from a classical education.
The service went well, I had one moment when I thought I might get a bit choked up (my biggest fear with all of this), but that was watching a brief exchange between a man who'd just delivered a eulogy, and his wife - as an officiant, I would be preparing for the next part, and not notice this.
On a personal level, I felt incredibly self-conscious. As I was all in black, I hoped that I would be mistaken for an employee of the Funeral Director, but it was uncomfortable, feeling that I had no right to be there.
It was a civilised service - there was some weeping, but everyone there seemed to be respecting the dignity of the service.
As for me? I've got a lot of research to do. Google, here I come.
It was a good service - I was very impressed with my mentor's range of quotes and sayings. She's posh anyway, but has clearly benefited from a classical education.
The service went well, I had one moment when I thought I might get a bit choked up (my biggest fear with all of this), but that was watching a brief exchange between a man who'd just delivered a eulogy, and his wife - as an officiant, I would be preparing for the next part, and not notice this.
On a personal level, I felt incredibly self-conscious. As I was all in black, I hoped that I would be mistaken for an employee of the Funeral Director, but it was uncomfortable, feeling that I had no right to be there.
It was a civilised service - there was some weeping, but everyone there seemed to be respecting the dignity of the service.
As for me? I've got a lot of research to do. Google, here I come.
Friday, 18 January 2008
Swearing - contains strong language
I've been thinking a lot about swearing, which I do far too often (I know, it's not big or clever, but we all need a vent).
Most of my exclamations seem to be of the "for christ's sake!" variety, but I feel that I need to get out of this habit, in my role as a humanist.
However, if I get away from religious swearing, that only leaves sexual references ("oh fuck!", or the C-word that even I baulk at), or bodily functions or parts (shit, arsehole, or my particular favourite - bollocks). These seem somehow stronger (perhaps a sign of how society is moving away from religion, and is therefore less likely to be offended by religious references), and more distasteful.
I know, I know, I should be more socially acceptable (ie, it's not "complete bollocks", it's "utter rubbish", or "oh no" instead of "shit!", but it makes an interesting topic, don't you think?
If the celebrant thing doesn't work out, I think I might see if there's a university somewhere that needs research done on swearing in the English language.
Most of my exclamations seem to be of the "for christ's sake!" variety, but I feel that I need to get out of this habit, in my role as a humanist.
However, if I get away from religious swearing, that only leaves sexual references ("oh fuck!", or the C-word that even I baulk at), or bodily functions or parts (shit, arsehole, or my particular favourite - bollocks). These seem somehow stronger (perhaps a sign of how society is moving away from religion, and is therefore less likely to be offended by religious references), and more distasteful.
I know, I know, I should be more socially acceptable (ie, it's not "complete bollocks", it's "utter rubbish", or "oh no" instead of "shit!", but it makes an interesting topic, don't you think?
If the celebrant thing doesn't work out, I think I might see if there's a university somewhere that needs research done on swearing in the English language.
Thursday, 17 January 2008
I love my boss
Now how often do you hear that?
The reason why I love my boss is that she's being very accommodating, and allowing a reduction in my hours.
This means I can keep a regular income, and still burn people.
Fab!
The reason why I love my boss is that she's being very accommodating, and allowing a reduction in my hours.
This means I can keep a regular income, and still burn people.
Fab!
Sunday, 13 January 2008
First Session - Knackered
Well,
My induction/assessment day was yesterday, and it was great.
I came away feeling really motivated and inspired. It was a generally lovely group of people - we had a VERY high proportion of lapsed catholics, and one chap who I thought was likely to get on my nerves (a bit too far up his own behind, if you ask me), but mostly pleasant, intelligent articulate people.
It was interesting that we all had something in common (our humanist belief) while still being very different. This came to light when we discussed "what would happen if you were putting together a ceremony, and someone was adamant that they wanted the lord's prayer?" We had a range of answers, from "okay, but someone else will have to lead that bit" to "no, this is a non-religious ceremony" (the latter having a very strong hint of "sod off" about it).
We've got homework to do. I've never been big on poetry (more of a chick lit girl myself), but I must study, investigate, and progress, as well as get back in touch with my mentor to attend some services and family visits.
Right now, though, I want to sleep!
My induction/assessment day was yesterday, and it was great.
I came away feeling really motivated and inspired. It was a generally lovely group of people - we had a VERY high proportion of lapsed catholics, and one chap who I thought was likely to get on my nerves (a bit too far up his own behind, if you ask me), but mostly pleasant, intelligent articulate people.
It was interesting that we all had something in common (our humanist belief) while still being very different. This came to light when we discussed "what would happen if you were putting together a ceremony, and someone was adamant that they wanted the lord's prayer?" We had a range of answers, from "okay, but someone else will have to lead that bit" to "no, this is a non-religious ceremony" (the latter having a very strong hint of "sod off" about it).
We've got homework to do. I've never been big on poetry (more of a chick lit girl myself), but I must study, investigate, and progress, as well as get back in touch with my mentor to attend some services and family visits.
Right now, though, I want to sleep!
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Intro
Hi,
I'm X.Piry - a trainee funeral officiant.
After a brief mid-life crisis (my mother died, then I hit 40, then a good friend's husband died) during which I pondered the futility of the heady world of business finance (my occupation of choice for the last 15 years) I woke up with the feeling that I would like to become a funeral officiant, conducting non-religious ceremonies.
I've never believed in God, but I do try to believe in people.
So, here we are - I attend my first course next Saturday. I have a mentor, who is lovely, but possibly the poshest lady in the world, and I'm trying to work out when I tell my boss that I'm giving up the dynamic world of finance, for the world of the dead. After I get my bonus for 2007 is the most obvious answer, but once that's sorted, there's some negotiating to be doing!
Wish me luck - it's all a bit scary.
I'm X.Piry - a trainee funeral officiant.
After a brief mid-life crisis (my mother died, then I hit 40, then a good friend's husband died) during which I pondered the futility of the heady world of business finance (my occupation of choice for the last 15 years) I woke up with the feeling that I would like to become a funeral officiant, conducting non-religious ceremonies.
I've never believed in God, but I do try to believe in people.
So, here we are - I attend my first course next Saturday. I have a mentor, who is lovely, but possibly the poshest lady in the world, and I'm trying to work out when I tell my boss that I'm giving up the dynamic world of finance, for the world of the dead. After I get my bonus for 2007 is the most obvious answer, but once that's sorted, there's some negotiating to be doing!
Wish me luck - it's all a bit scary.
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